ha..juz sum thoughts

dang...i still cant get a job til now...its been 2 mths already im rotting @ home. i need money!!!
newaez...i juz dun understand y is it tat almost all the time im searchin for jobs, there will alwiz be this line where they state 'chinese/mandarin speaking preferred'. why is that the case??? so what abt us..ok sum of us who dont know how to converse in that language? and sumtimes i hear stories where girls like me who wear our headscarves or tudungs are required to take em off. why? do they think that we're linked to sum terrorists? oh yea talkin abt that, i juz remembered that day, or rather, that night where sum places had blackouts...what did they think? that the blackouts might be the work of terrorists. is that dumb or what? tsk..tsk..alritez nuff said...newaez i got this sumtin ive alwiz wanted to share with whoeva's reading my blog...luuurve this article taken from catalog issue 06...it was actuali an interview with kid loco..find out who he is..

q - "what's the one thing that's pissing you off the most in the world right now?"

a - "bush junior. he's doing the worst for everybody and pretending to be the master of the world, and he's the son of his father, who was already a c*nt, so i want him to lose in the next elections."

yea. i agree with kid loco. i want bush to lose not only in the next elections, but evrything. he really suck. so much bout being a president. he's plain dumb. eeerrgghh...i really hate him. reaaally hate him. oh bushy, you suck big time.

anywayz baby i'ma see ya soon so wait for meee..haha..love ya tons!!

mmm!

anybody want sum rojak mama??
nyum nyum...

so darling wat did u eat for lunch juz now?
love ya tons!!

wasted time

and so here i am again. woke up early today for the interview at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. was raining heavily and was late already so took a cab there. filled up form and soon, was in the interview room. found out they want sumone who can work on Sundays. said i cant cuz ive got classes. and they turned me down. oh well its ok anyway cuz i din want the work. shouldn have gone for the interview cuz was told the other applicants din turn up cuz of the rain. good me eh? ha.. dang..have wasted monie for cab fare, but its ok cuz the taxi driver was very friendly. he even wished good luck b4 i got down his taxi. nice man. :)
anywayz visited newton square for awhile and after that went home. alone. hmm...how i wish my baby's with me. miss himlah..

argh!! difficulties in swallowing pills again!! this time my throat din wanna open itself up!! let my plastic capsule dissolved in my mouth til i can feel the taste of the powder inside and finally forced it down. eewwrrgghh... xÞ blueks...

wandi i miss you laaaahhhh....

journey thru life

halu there. and so im back. is it late now to do this? nah..i believe that we're never too late to do anything. it juz depends on one's will to do sumthin.
newaez..ive been feeling much better after ive taken some medicines. did i state that i wanna wake up early to see the doctor? ok well i din really got up that early..i was toooo suhleepy. and i pretended and told momma that i din hafta go to the polyclinic cuz i was feeling ok. but soon after my throat was disagreeing. got outta bed eventually, bathed and then off to toa payoh.
oh newaez i went to toa payoh for this job employment assistance under CDC - community development council. was told to submit my employment history. tot it would be 4 awhile but ended up they did the job searching for me. oh yes..im jobless. have been applying for jobs but to no avail. at last my momma decided to meet the MP - Dr Yaacob Ibrahim. he was the one who suggested CDC. newaez after CDC it was Geylang East Polyclinic.
met my momma who was already waiting with a q-ticket, and after registration and stuff, went up to see the doctor. met the doctor, listened to my heartbeat, talked for a while and then went down to collect my medicine. ok i aint drunk like what the mood tells. im actually very drowsy now cuz of the after-effects of the medicines. feelin high now..ok..well..im like flying with my eyes shut..oh my..newaez juz to share and waste the space here, these are the medicines prescribed:

diphenhydramine for my throat - 2 5ml spoonfuls a day

vitamin C tablets - 2 tablets 3x a day

mefenamic acid to reduce muscle (haha) aches - 1 capsule 3x a day

loratadine for my running nose - 1 tablet evry morning

since i came home at around 6:00 pm i took the 1st 3. took the tablets which, like ive said, i had to bite them. fortunately they dissolved fast and since its vitamin C it wasnt bitter. next is the capsule. usually, ive got no problems swallowing plastic capsule down but this time it took me sometime. it was like my throat kept trying to close itself, not wanting the capsule to enter. it was...tight..haha..newaez i was already like panicking i spit out the capsule and looked at it with my can-you-please-juz-enter-my-throat face. tried again, forced myself and yes! bye bye capsule. next was the syrup. ha! juz imagine if the same problem occurs when swallowing syrup! tsk..tsk..
detailed details there...anywaaaayz..after the clinic, it was a walking journey to..erm..this curtain-maker house at 1 of the apartments in geylang lorong 25. geylang lorong? hhmmm... and some of you start wondering...tsk..tsk..ok after that, we headed straight home. oh ive got another thing to share.
while walking to the bus stop, to wait for bus 26, to go home (am i long winded or what?), i noticed this one China woman standing under the shelter. ignored her @ 1st, but deep in me, my instinct (correct usage?heh) told me that sumthin intresting gonna happen. ok well it wasnt VERY intresting but sumhow it kinda amazed me.
newaez as my momma and i were reaching the bus stop, i noticed the woman smiling a lil and her eyes were aimed at this one man. me, being the private kPo lady, looked at the man and as expected, he was already smiling. me and my momma stood at where the woman 1st stood. i turned to look at them again. the man turned to look at the woman. he moved a lil to the right, turned and looked at the woman again. the woman then bravely stood beside the man and looked straight into the man's eyes. i was like "whoa!" and quickly told momma what i saw. the next thing was the woman muz have said or maybe asked the man sumthin but soon after she walked away, as if disappointed.
i couldn't help but felt that the woman muz be askin the man if he wanted some..erm..pleasure. i mean anyone there who saw what went on muz be thinkin the same as me. looking at the woman walked away, and the man smiling til he got his bus, made me wonder about life; how thankful i should be, even though i may not have a job yet, my momma still takes care of my expenses; and this compared to some who have to go through like above to earn a living..
well, there was another different situation which i..erm..saw while on the bus to home. i was looking out the window when i saw an old couple juz above the kallang river, you know, the green railing, the grass? there? sumwhere there? ok newaez, they were both on a mat i suppose, the grandpa was sitting and the grandma, i think, was lying down. beside them i saw clothes being hung on the railing. i mean, it was sad and heartbreaking to see such situation still exists in this century. i began to wonder why they were there, where their children are and what exactly cause them to have to be residing at such a place where they're not supposed to be. its really really sad.
and suddenly i thought about my parents. how much they have done and spent juz to take care of me. they may nag, yes, which parents don't? but they do that for a reason. and that, cuz of deep love for their only child; wanting to give the bestest of the best for their only daughter. and i vowed never to leave my parents, to alwiz be with them til death do us part.

to mak and abah, i may not be the most perfect child, ive my minuses too, but i'll alwiz do my best, and i will alwiz love you both. alwiz.

to wandi, i may not be the most perfect lady, but i'll alwiz give my best to you, and i will alwiz love you too.
im faithfully waiting for you to come back, sweetheart.

blergh..

wandi's 1 week as an NSman

yeay darling called at 10:17:31 pm. talked to him til lights out. miss him so much. can't wait to see him on this sat @ tekong.
argh..im sick! im sick! im sick!!
when will the pain go?? my throat, my teeth, my head, my face!! they hurt!!!
help! argh!! (and hani clutches her fist)

i lack of sleeplah..been sleeping at around 4:00 am the past 2 mornings..
ok good night all. or rather good morning.
need to wake up early to see the doctor.

haswandi i love you lotz. call me soon baby! ;-*

zzz zzz... ... ...

Juz Be There

something i found in my baby's diary..

for you i live
for you i'd die
i'd pull those stars
out of the sky

for you i wake
each day and night
i'd run the world
to hold you tight

for you i cry
for you i fear
i'd freeze the sun
to have you near

for you i trust
for you i smile
i'd climb all mountains
to have you for a while

for you i love
for you i care
for all of this
please, juz be there... ... ...

uurrrgghh...

wandi's 6th day as an NSman

urgh...im feeling sick!! got a very sore throat since last night, after i gobbled up some self-made tuna sandwich + HL milk. was worse when i got up in the morning. thought of teaching izam but had to cancel. the pain, it aint only at my throat but at my left ear and head too! ggrrr...the feeling...it sux! and now my head is still throbbing!! juz feel like banging my whole face on the wall...argh...
so what have i been doing since morning? hadn't got a peaceful sleep. woke up and then got ready to go to wajah beauty centre for my facial treatment :p . after about 2 hours met my momma for erm..brunch - breakfast + lunch. had a panadol extra. it was very bitter! bLueks.. ok ok..ive got problems swallowing pills and so ive been biting medicines to swallow em and this has been since i was a lil kid.
newaez after that we 'round-round' joo chiat and tanjong katong for my kebaya..wahaha...feel like tomorrow's hari raya. eventually, we din buy my kebaya but instead we bought this sweet..erm..ok it looks like a kebaya pendek, only that the skirt..its unique..ok wait till i get the picture of the..err..bajulah..oh and we bought my 2 skirts.. waduh...sakit2 pon sempat borong ako ni..tsk tsk..newaez after that we bought abah nasi goreng and off we went home.
haadduuussss....headache! headache! headache! feel like squishing my brain!! ggrrr..aaaarrgghh...uurrgghhh...ppaaaaaiiinnnnnnn..!!

b...im sick...wish you're here...sobs..miss ya terribly...

I Dream

As I look at the stars at night
and dream of what is to be...
My heart begins to smile
for it is you I see
Knowing that you're close
but yet so far away
I dream of you at night
and think about you everyday
For every moment without you
seems like an eternity... ... ...

hava happy birthday lady

200804 / 05:50 pm
wandi's 4th day as an NSman

Happy b'day 2 u.. Happy b'day 2 u.. Happy b'day 2 my dearest hanibaby sayang.. Happy b'day 2 u.. 12:00:42 am
aawww... so sweet of my baby...
yes. today is my 21st birthday. a MEMORABLE happy birthday. the reason i bold the word 'memorable' is because of the way i celebrate my birthday. well usually peeps of my age will hold a big celebration on their 21st, be it at the chalet or at home. ok, im at home, but the thing is im not in the mood to celebrate. y? cuz my baby's in camp.. yes im alone and its juz pathetic 4 days. sobs..
ok ok...im not totally out of the mood..im juz a lil sad..but however, im still, again, thankful that wandi could sms me his b'day wish. oh yea and he bought me a very nice watch too..its a fossil surfer girl watch..maybe if ive the chance, i'll put up the pic.
and by the way, my momma bought me the hot & crispy chicken from KFC. some ways to cheer me up there. :)
wonder what my baby's doing now... ... ...

miz ya lotz sugar!

my confession

180804 / 12:39 pm
wandi's 2nd day as an NSman

yeay! darling called 3 x - 05:17:18 am / 10:34:02 am / 12:46 pm
was sooo glad he called!! but well, i couldn't hold back anymore. i had to let go of my tears. i juz had to let go of that heaviness in my heart. B, even though i dun get to see you in person, im alwiz thankful i still get to hear your voice. im missing you terribly. wish you're here with me. B, im holding on to whatever you've told me all this while. my heart has decided that no other can take your place. never. please don't break my heart. i love you too much.

d dreaded day has finally arrived

mood : mixed
wandi's 1st day as an NSman

[ 170804 / 06:51 pm ]
today. the day wandi and i have been waiting for so long. the day he has to surrender himself to national service. the life they say will transform a boy to a man. well thats what they always say... :p
newaez, i woke up early to meet my baby at bishan. the moment i saw him under his block, i was already smiling widely like mad. noticed he has shaved his beard. haha..his face..so..erm..botak..well, we then went to the shop and then off to his house. there, his momma offered food but i din wanna eat. poor thing my baby din even have the appetite. while his momma was getting ready, wandi and i were already having tears in our eyes..aawww..there was this heavy feeling in our hearts..well i guess those who r in love should know..peaCe.
and so later, we were already at Pasir Ris Interchange. we met wandi's sis n then we took a bus to SAF Ferry Terminal. here comes the saddest part...it was finally time for us to part. couldn't send him to tekong, so i juz stood at the window, watching wandi, his momma, sis and niece walk towards the ferry. i could already feel my heart at my stomach. my tears were trying to push their way out of my eyes but i managed to hold them back. walked out of the ferry terminal. and suddenly wandi called! was sooooooo delighted!! we talked for awhile. and then he had to go. i had to go too, but i brought wandi along in my heart.

baby, i'll be waiting for you to come back. im missing you already, like mad.


[ 170804 / 11:40 pm ]
finally i got to talk to my baby!! he 1st called at around 10:44 pm and told he'd call again after lights out. 2nd call was at around 11:32 pm. we talked for awhile. it was such a relief to hear his sweet sweet voice. and then it was time for him to go. well, i couldn't already hold my tears, but i know we're gonna talk again. soon, i was jumping here and there like a monkey, laughing hardly, and telling my momma wandi called.

baby, im so in love with you.

after so long...

mood : mixed
wandi's 4th day as an NSman

oh wow...it's been a year since i last blogged...and many many things have happened in my life, and wandi's..
in that 1 year, wandi and i have been separated due to lots of quarrel and misunderstandings..all of which, when i think back, can be solved by learning and understanding more about each other.
i was always against what wandi did and would always get mad easily. on the other hand, wandi was too cool it seemed he juz din care about whatever was happening at that time. he was with his own life and i was trying very hard to get his attention. in the end, i couldn't take it, i decided we separate. at that time, i thought wandi was 1 bad guy who din care less. ironically, my love for him was still there. same for him.

after about 4-5 months away from each other, we decided to contact each other. and at that one moment, i was having some problems, and i really really needed to see him, and i got to see him. :) that was when we thought we should get back with each other. from that day, or rather night actually, we have promised that no matter what happens, we will take good care of each other, not hurt each other, learn and understand, and really love each other. (haha so mushy, but hey, im serious)

now that we're together, we have seen changes in our lives. i notice wandi is much more loving and is always looking out for me. and me, i aint mad like i used to be, and i mean mad in the sense of being angry all the time for no reason. hmm...but im still mad tho..hee...too mad about wandi...hhmmm.....

oh well, about the past...im leaving all that behind me...
about now...all i wanna say...im missing wandi very very very terribly...cant wait to see him on 28th aug...
oh yea btw im gonna post things that happen everyday while wandi's away..so dun get confused...

baby, im missing u..as alwiz.